A Four Letter Word Closer to Hope.

So minutes past the break of dawn I write to talk about past lessons..

And in the context of this I would like to inform whoever reads that i am under the influence of certain substances and am really having a hard time typing but i feel good.

1:

I met her very early in life. Too early in fact, i think. What a beauty, what a waste. After all this time she turned out to be a big disgrace. Not to me, of course, because I am clearly out of the picture but to herself. If only there were things she realized. If only there were things I realized. I lay here right now looking back in multicolored retrospect and realizing how futile and childish our attempts, reasons, intentions, and goals were. But when the dawn is gone, wait for the sun.

2:

I barely recall anything, if anything. I was too busy with other things, too busy with childish things. I remember her hair, her voice, and the way we sat together every morning watching the football field before I played. I remember she was kind and beautiful inside and out. I remember swimming with her on Fridays. My bestfriend and I would compete to show off. Of all I remember the most striking was her face. For in its presence all was gone and nothing mattered. It was sweet yet sarcastic, kind yet apathetic, warm yet distant. A memory of that face will always be enough for me.

3:

I was older now. I was smarter. I carried a bag of wit, sarcasm, humor, intelligence, and meaning. All of this worked of course. Short and sweet, short but sweet. Amidst the tryst, she stole my lips and I stole hers. Youth makes you do many things. Stupid things. Glorious things. Noble things. Through all these things I learned.

4:

A goddess in disguise. Of human nature a godlike creature. "As I cannot recall a more perfect fall". Yet opposition strikes and times lead you to think of all your priorities in life. What a perfect fall, yet it led to nothing at all. Useless things said and done. Made life even just a smidgen clearer.

5:

Beauty and brains, brings a man to the trap that waits. It was full of lies, once I caught on, it wasnt so pretty anymore. It was bleak, drugged, and over the edge. It was a lesson learned, an expensive one.

6:

Of friends turned lovers. Impossible is the limit that if acknowledged solidifies and exemplifies the barriers that keep us from breaking apart. Yes breaking apart and not otherwise because the other is the antidote of the other. Neither can coexist except in the presence of that liquid that binds eternally, till death do they part.

7:

Short is the night, short is the night. All I needed to know was found and gone when I realized that I never wanted to know. So throw out the card onto the street and hope that the tire marks blurry the memories and traces on the marks of your neck. Corto Vida Amor.

8:

Strike up the band. The cover up friendship will never disband. Wash you face, scrub your body, brush you teeth, and gargle mouth wash in hopes of making things feel better.

9:

Nurse im loosing my head over this. So I make an attempt to tempt you with this. Things do work things fo work. But in the end I needed it no more.

10:

Nothing more, nothing less. April 5, 2009. Progression is a mysterious thing. For one knows not what comes next yet we all enjoy it very much because of this aura it presents us. This thrill we derive from it.

And so from all of this I wish to presume that one day it will come. One day it will come.